The breaking of my heart...

Mason, my 3 year old little boy, and I walked through the doors of Barnes and Noble this afternoon for A. me to purchase a book and B. "to find the trains."

We walked along the side of the store that was away from the kiddie section with the train table. I hurried to find my book because as soon as Mason spotted the cartoon drawings on the wall of the kids area, my book search would be forcefully postponed!

I found my book, praised Mase for being a good boy (and only taking off to hide from me TWICE!) then we walked to the train table. He sat down and quietly started playing next to another boy who looked about 5 years old.

All of a sudden Mason stood up and says to me, "Play with trains, mommy?" in his own hard-to-understand way. I answered him, "yes, you're playing with trains, sweetheart!"

The other boy stopped and looked at Mason with this disgusted look on his face. I could see his wheels turning and I knew he was wondering, "what's wrong with that kid?"

I couldnt help it but I glared back at him DARING him with my eyes to say anything mean to my baby. But I know the kid doesnt know any better. I mean, Mason looks like a 5 year old but speaks like a 2 year old. It must be very confusing to the average kid.

I wanted to grab Mason and take him away from there, away from anyones' misunderstandings, nasty looks or harsh words. But I knew I couldnt do that. Mason was interacting, he was being social. This is something we have prayed for for so long now!

While we were there, Mason talked more but most of his sentences were directed at me (probably for reassurance purposes). At least he is standing next to, bumping arms with and talking (if only a little bit) to another child--a stranger. Nine months ago, this wouldnt even be a possibility!

What I was standing there watching in the bookstore was progress. But it was painful for me to watch.

This isnt the first time that an older child (around 5 or 6 years old) has thought Mason was the same age as he. I recall one time, a few months back, a boy was trying to talk to Mason. Mason responded in a very cheerful, i-want-play voice but only one recognizable word came out with a bit of jargon babble. The kid looked at me and said, "Ha. What's with him? He talks like a baby!"

I told him Mason was only 2 years old (just shy of his 3rd birthday) and he was still learning to talk. Of course the kid didnt want to have anything to do with Mason after that because Mason qualified as a baby, not a big boy. Mason couldnt comprehend why the kid was all of a sudden ignoring him and not wanting to run around the playground with him.

I have also watched older boys try to pick on Mason because they think he is older but "slow". (Believe me I stepped in and put a stop to it. No one is going to mess with my child and get away with it.) Mason is NOT slow. He is speech delayed and somewhat socially delayed but he is improving greatly in both areas!

When I see things like I saw today, I just want to grab those kids and tell them how lucky they are that THEY are not the ones who have difficulties speaking. It just as easily couldve been them and who knows, maybe they were in Mason's situation years earlier.

I cant fault those boys. They are kids and kids can be very hurtful because of the plain honesty that they project. I used to be a child too and I remember very well what it was like.

But now I am a mom. And Im hurting for my precious little boy. Im sad for him when he gets rejected by would-be friends. I want to prevent any pain from ever coming close to my baby. But I know I cant.

I cant always be there to protect him. Its all part of growing up. I guess if Mason actually LOOKED his age, this wouldnt be so difficult at this time. But this is our situation and we just have to continue to do the best we can to help Mason continue to improve.

He knows his mommy and daddy love him with all their hearts. We are his safe place and always will be.